Family Memory (XXIII): What Brothers are For

Before my dad came along, my mom had another boyfriend. She wrote his name in a book–but for the life of me I can’t find that book to recall that guy’s name. Mom had a crush on the guy and then at some point, something happened. I don’t know what. Mom never said nor did her brothers, Helmut and Karl. It would’ve been around 1962 when she was sixteen–which made her brothers 15 and 17…and both of my uncles were big boys and strong–Uncle Helmut played football for West Point. (My Uncle Mike would’ve been 5-6 and irrelevant to this story)

So whatever happened happened. I suppose my Uncle Helmut could still tell me–but I’ve never asked. All I know of the story really is that the next day after the incident, Uncle Karl and Uncle Helmut intercepted this other boy after school and had a hands-on consultation with the boy about respecting their sister. He never came near her again. My mom always appreciated her brothers for that. I only know of the story because Mom wrote one of those silly “Brigitte *HEART* Guy’s name” inside a book cover.

My uncles and mom always argued and bickered, usually at a high volume level (and often with my grandparents…and later with me involved 🙂 )…welcome to my family(!) but if someone outside the family pulled serious shenanigans, they were a unified group–really, blood thicker than water.

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And so we get to Fall, 2010 when my daughter was a HS freshman and my oldest son a senior in the same school. My son was a big kid, the strongest in his class to boot. For some reason, both would up in the school choir (I’ve never really known my son to sing). That’s important for the story.

There was a boy in my daughter’s class who would say inappropriate things to girls. Eventually he started trying to touch body parts, etc. My daughter said ‘no’ but the boy wouldn’t stop. Now, at this point as Dad, I would’ve liked to have known this was going on–because I would’ve gone straight to the principal and got that squared away ASAP…but kids never discuss school with parents…and in a lot of schools, policing gets handled by older kids. In this case, my son.

My daughter told him this was going on. One day the boy crossed a line again. When choir practice arrived, my son confronted the boy and told him to leave my daughter alone. The boy laughed my son off…bad, foolish choice. My son proceeded to emphasize the importance of leaving her alone by picking the other boy up by the elastic waistband of his underwear, deadlifting the boy and turning his underwear into a Brazilian thong. The boy immediately whined, “I’m telling the teacher” and did just that, saying what my son did as soon as the teacher walked in. The teacher’s response, “If you provoked him into doing that, I suggest you not do it again.” (In hindsight–not great teaching…if a kid is provoked into an Olympic-level wedgie, it was probably better to get involved and find out what was going on…it could’ve prevented issues down the road)

From that day forward, my daughter was left alone. Later, I found out this boy turned his attention to others and actually tried to sexually assault another student–at which point, he was expelled. I’m just glad my son was there–glad my kids have a close relationship where they all look out for one another….I don’t think I really ever put these two stories together in terms of loyalty between siblings before.