Dreams – 6/1

6/1/25 #1: I was on a country lane. Behind me was an outdoor party and a mansion. Ahead of me were zombies and I realized they had seen the lights and were heading to the party. I raced back to the party and everyone went for guns. Then the zombies were everywhere and it was hand-to-hand fighting but humans were outnumbered so I tried to method-act being a zombie at which point I realized the zombies only attacked people with weapons, so I just walked out of the mansion. Then I was on top of a ridge and I saw thousands of zombies below in the valley lined up like a Napoleonic unit on parade. 6/1/25 #2: I was in a gym coaching a team but the players didn’t like me so they had excuses not to practice. I went to the AD (who was Tracey Graham, OH at Iowa State from 87-90)and wanted a private conversation. I led her to a corner, but it turned out there was a classroom full of athletes sitting in the dark who could hear. She then went back to a group of huddled coaches, so I followed and kept talking from behind my hand to her–asking what I do when a player fakes an injury repeatedly because she’d gone to the “High School President” twice previously to get me fired. Graham looked at the other coaches and then simultaneously they all shrugged their shoulders.

6/1/24: I was being interviewed at a college for a job. They took me back to a dorm room in an all-concrete building until the next day. I was sharing a room with someone (who wasn’t there). I went to the elevator and when it opened, a dozen kids tried to pile in after. They were all in graduation robes (different colors and regalia). One was late and the door started closing, reopened, and closed again but this time wouldn’t stop closing–and I noticed the elevator had sawteeth. The other 11 were able to hold it long enough for the twelfth to get in. I then asked who they were–and realized they were part of the program I’d been selected for and that I was just forty years older than them. I turned and walked down a corridor (still in the elevator), realizing I was Jesus and they were the Disciples. I took the stairs down but couldn’t find an exit until Randy (from Allen County) showed me the door which was under the stairs. I went to the Challenger and drove it to a mansion where my family was staying. When it was time to go the next day, I was an hour late. My car wasn’t where I left it. I found it blocked in on a long driveway and that I was going to have to drive on mud/grass to get it out. I knew the interviewers wouldn’t believe my explanation but I also didn’t know how I could blink and have eight hours disappear.

6/1/23 #1: I was with a woman in some woods. We were in combat against three men. They couldn’t see us and it turns out one was right below us and to the left. We shot at him but our weapon made no sound and the guy didn’t move. Eventually the other two guys started walking towards us on a gravel/grass path that appeared. We ordered them to surrender, so they did–along with the guy who’d been near us that turned out to be Erik Johnson. One of the other two was the guy with the bushy mustache from Parks and Recreation. I asked them to put their weapons down and ‘surrender like gentlemen’. They were each carrying 6+ handguns and it took a long time for them to put the weapons down.

6/1/23 #2: I was in the passenger seat of a car with John Masterson, Allen CC president (now-retired) driving and Todd Francis in the back seat. John was showing me the sights of Iola which was now spread out over miles. He was talking about the new campus. He showed one house that had its view of mountains blocked by another house built taller right behind it. I kept guessing we’d arrived but we hadn’t. He said, “There’s my car” and pointed at a purple Cadillac. I answered, “Not quite my car” and he responded, “I should certainly say not.” We never did reach campus and Todd never said anything.

6/1/23 #3: I was in a garage with Hammond and Clarkson from Top Gear. They were looking at my car–which confused me because my Challenger was gone, replaced with a white Corvette. I drove ot with thought control and spun donuts and made ‘elevenses’ on the concrete garage floor (which was my mom’s garage). Clarkson talked about ‘pounds of wear when making donuts’ and Hammond decided to help. He was working on the ‘car’ section that was actually a lawn mower and extending the handles/making them move like lobster claws. He put athletic tape on them, then some form of grease, and then more tape. I told him I was worried he was destroying the paint job and he said, “A small price to pay for genius.”

6/1/23 #4: I was on the far right of my old school building, by the kitchen entrance. At the far entrance heading to the basement, a girl opened that door and waved at me to enter down there. By the time I got over there, I realized I was married to Elizabeth Burt (haven’t seen her since 1985) and I regretted being married so long because teenagers shouldn’t be married for twenty years [the math incongruity did not bother me].

6/1/22 #1: I was a hockey goalie but the floor was concrete and so were the walls. I wasn’t permitted any defensemen and the opposing center, the ass’t AD for LLCC, kept firing shots at me from 10 feet away. Some of these were pucks but he was also slapshotting rubber balls and crushed pop cans. No matter what he shot though, I was always able to deflect the shot. Then I had the thought that maybe he wasn’t trying to score, maybe he was just trying to hit me.

6/1/22 #2: I was in a cafeteria. They were honoring the school’s new volleyball coach who replaced me. I had to sit there while they said stuff about how they changed everything to make the team good for once. Then I was called forward so that I could be the target for the setter. I had to stand on top of a ladder to catch balls but the player couldn’t set anything up to me. I had to stand on it and listen to comments about the poor passing being the previous coach (me)’s fault. Then I was in the backseat of a van with my sister. Debbie was complaining about the event except for the behavior of Lance Ray [someone I went to GS/JH with] and that she was writing a letter to the President of the US about his good behavior. She then showed me an article from Sports Illustrated about my replacement–it included a skinny crossword puzzle and a picture of me standing on the ladder. My friend Dave in the front seat said, “If you just would’ve cheated like everyone else did, you would’ve won. You know?”

6/1/21: There was a pitch-black snake on completely white stairs. I picked it up with a trash-clamp device and put it in a gray plastic 50-gallon barrel. We put it on the back of a pickup truck and drove it outside of town to let free. I was with someone and they said “It wasn’t really a snake. It was an eel.” Then I woke up sitting on the lap of a female film star (I don’t remember who) next to my mom’s fireplace. On the other side of the fireplace was Charles Barkley. I asked the star for a selfie of us together because ‘I love collecting photographs of beautiful people’. She asked about Barkley and I said I already had a picture of me sitting on his lap.