Don’t Let Them Get to Me!

This week I had a good talk with someone I love dearly. He told me about the stresses of getting along with people, especially when they say mean things to you, exclude you, laugh at your expense, etc. And he said something that really hit me. He said, “I’m always told ‘Don’t let them get to you.’ or ‘Don’t let them bother you.’ And they promise me that this works, but it doesn’t seem to. I ignore people who do these things and yet it doesn’t make any difference. It doesn’t stop it from happening.”

I could totally relate to that. I agree that it’s important to not let what people say get under your skin, but is that all that can be done? I mean, I know how to ignore someone, but often it’s difficult to even know what it means to not let them “get to me.”And sometimes the ignoring can come across as negative behaviour as well. It’s not easy dealing with mistreatment.

Ok, I know what you’re thinking. Talk to them! We need to talk things out in order to get along, right? Yes, that is true. And it’s good advice. BUT… this is easier said than done considering that the person you talk to is likely to tell you that you are the problem:

• “Dude, I was kidding! Geez…”

• “I think you’re taking this a little too seriously.”

• 
  

• “I didn’t mean anything by it and I’m sorry if it hurt you.

Maybe the comments people throw our way are harmless on the surface, but even the light teasing is at the very least a distant cousin to the one thing none of us want to be accused of: bullying. And I remember long ago watching a short documentary on bullying that revealed an enlightening observation. It claimed that the biggest problem with bullying isn’t with the bully, nor with the victim. It is with the onlookers who do nothing.

So from now on, instead of watching “the drama” (as we like to call it), I’m going to try and be the voice for the person getting the snide remark, the subtle snub, or the passive-aggressive comment. Not in a forced way like I’m some lion-hearted advocate for the downtrodden. Just simply. Colloquially. Being a part of the conversation when needed.

And I won’t say to my friend, “Hey, don’t let them get to you.” Instead I’ll say, “Hey, I won’t let them get to you.”

Congratulations . This is your week.

Best Actress:

Cate Blanchett as Bob Dylan in It’s a strange movie, but the performances are all pretty great. But Blanchett really gives you something to remember. And she clearly did the best job (in my opinion) of bringing Dylan to the screen.

Best Actor: O’Shea Jackson, Jr. as Ice Cube in

Best Quote: “An’ stoppa that growlin’. You sound like a big ol’ bar.” — Sissy Spacek as Loretta Lynn in

I thought it was appropriate to make reference to bullying considering Tina Turner’s story. I’ve actually not seen nor , but they’re both going on my watchlist now!