Digit Appreciation Day

I sprained my finger last night, and I say that in my role as not-a-doctor. But it has all the classic medical symptoms of a sprain:

• swollen;

• purple;

• owwy.

I jammed it playing a game of knockout with the team at basketball practice, and that’s the excuse I’m using to explain how I lost to an 11-year-old girl.

I thank Jesus that it’s only a finger on my left hand, because Jesus controls everything, although the fact that Jesus thought I deserved to have my finger sprained by a basketball makes me think Jesus is a bit of a jerk. Don’t you have lepers to heal somewhere, Jesus? Football games to win?

I don’t want to dwell on this minor injury or the fact that I’m a huge baby-booboo. I just wanted to point out how we truly don’t appreciate how much we need our fingers to overcome the tyranny of toothpaste tubes or the burden of bootlaces or the curse of collar buttons. A damaged finger also makes typing very difficeargqt.

That’s why I officially declare today Digit Appreciation Day (DAD), not to be confused with World Injured-Man-Pity Day (WIMP Day). I’ll be marking the day by making pained faces and exaggerating.

On the plus side, it’s my middle finger, so anytime someone annoys me today, I can say, “Want to see my sprained finger? It’s THIS ONE!”