Critical Friends, Colleagues, and ‘Yes Men’

This may come as a surprise to you, but I don’t have a ton of close friends.  Apparently, there’s a limited demand for associating with people who pretty much tell you directly what they are thinking–and give concrete reasons for it.  Go figure.

With this friend-thing, I’m good with the limited number .  I suspect they feel the same way–better to have close friends who call it like they see it.  Thinking about it, it’s probably why I’ve been friends with most of them for 30+ years now.  We don’t get to see one another often, but when we do–we pick up right where we left off the last time we got together.  I wouldn’t trade that for anything in the world honestly.

**So would you consider checking out my book?  It’s under $5.00(!) and you’ll get 27 essays on coaching–all told to you straight!**

I’ve been fortunate enough to work for a couple of good athletic directors (Matt Hensley, Ron Riggle) who are that same way–I knew/know exactly where I am with them.  At Allen in Kansas, the AD was in Iraq, but the school president was as good to work for as Matt and Ron (and the fill-in AD, Randy).  Always the same thing–they tell you exactly where things stand; it makes life so much easier as a coach.

I’ve felt that way about assistant coaches as well.  I’ve tried to have coaches helping who are confident in giving their ideas–and keep giving them even if I don’t implement them.  They haven’t always been bad ideas–they just don’t fit with what I’m thinking in the moment.  Sometimes they can’t be worked in during the competitive season, so we come back and experiment with them in spring–evaluate their usefulness for the next season.

If you don’t accept criticism or critical analysis of what you do, how can you expect to get better?  This isn’t just a coaching/teaching thing–it’s frustrating to watch politics.  There’s no effort to do things better, there’s a happiness to do nothing but argue in an effort to ‘win’ (whatever that means).

Do you accept criticism?  How do you deal with change?

For me, I’m pretty good with it (I think).  Usually.  At least in terms of my coaching.  When I sat to write this, I reflected back on the past 23 years of being a head coach–I’ve mentioned before that last year was 30 years in volleyball for me, a big anniversary I guess.  So how have I changed/dealt with feedback?

1. Started emphasizing the importance of off-court leadership development in HS athletes.

2. Reduced my ‘yelling’.

3. Changed HS camps for more ‘fun’ based on comments from a team captain

4. Changed from drill-oriented, block practices to game-like.

5. Permit music.

6. Explain less, let kids play more.

7. Changed our serving ‘system’

8. Changed our defense.

9. Adjusted team rules based on athlete feedback.

10. Have created some stuff for team-bonding–some on-court related, some not.

So there are ten things right off the top of my head.  Some of them are big changes.  I don’t think it’s coincidence that #7 and #8 came in 2015 and helped start our run of qualifying for Nationals.  #4 and #9 came with 2012…that was the first year we made Nationals in school history.  The others?  Well, they just make life in the gym more pleasant or helped transform young athletes in to better adults.

The catch is–have a reason for your adjustments.  Don’t make them as knee-jerk reactions or ‘change for change’s sake’.  You have to have a logic if they are to be effective.  If they’ve been suggested to you, it also helps if you ask why the other person feels that way, how they came to believe their suggestion is a good one (and under NO CIRCUMSTANCES BELITTLE THEIR IDEA–because it takes a lot of courage to go to your boss and suggest a change in how things work).

If you’re not the person in charge, you have to have the courage to tell your head coach what you think and be able to give your reasons–but also remain respectful if your information isn’t used.  That’s tough to accept–that after you give an answer and explanation, your head coach decides to go in a different direction.  You HAVE to do it though–a good head coach does not want or need ‘yes men’.  A good head coach wants to hear well-reasoned ideas whether  about playing time, drill ideas, or scouting reports.  Be confident with your colleagues!

If this sort of stuff interests you with classroom education rather than on a volleyball court, I have a second blog over at the Dietz Foundation.  There’s no charge for reading things over there either!