Come away, O human Dad, to the waters

Come away, O human Dad! To the waters and the wild With a campsite, full of sand, For the tent more needs a sweeping Than you can understand.

Where vans and cars with roof racks stray The crisscrossed roads at 80K Pursuing quests of leisure’s trove Guided east, misguided west By fate’s caprice and GPS

Until at last in nature’s lair He sets a foot on heaven there: This salt-flecked land upon the sea, With beauty hard and vast and dear And hundreds more a-camping near

Side by side in silvan lots Seeking solace in rental slots Pioneers ensconced among the pines Engaged in campers’ social contract To never make direct eye contact

Come away, O human Dad! To the waters and the wild With a washroom near at hand And a neighbour’s cell phone beeping At 6:15 a.m.

Where trunks and hatches spilling forth With providence and stoves and forks Bring to this land of salty wild The tools to make it all shook up Plus extra fees for sewage hookup

And here we feast like savage rulers On milk and meats in lukewarm coolers With soggy buns in melted ice Our appetites they near hysteria As we ingest some prime listeria

Come away, O human Dad! To the waters and the wild With the ladies, nicely tanned And the men all sit there peeping Behind their dark Ray-Bans

Where the wandering water gushes From the hills above Glen-Car, In pools among the rushes That scarce could bathe a star,* Seriously, look. Remove those earbud, do. You’re missing it, my little one. Hey! Hello? Yoohoo!

Come away, O human child! From the iPhone and the wifi With the Snapchats of your hand And the selfies not worth keeping Of you posing in the sand

Long have we traversed the plain To reach this land of lore again To tremble here in Neptune’s realm To spend our days here by the ocean And maybe even stick a toe in

We kindred men, and women too, Who wait all year for this to do To get away, yea, from it all But then we hear as we play checkers Our neighbours just like us: Quebecers

Come away, O human Dad! To the waters and the wild With the ferry bill in hand Your vacation has you weeping – More costly than you planned