Colombiana (2011)

Director: Olivier Megaton

Starring: Zoe Saldana, Michael Vartan, Callum Blue

A young woman, after witnessing her parents’ murder as a child in Bogota, grows up to be a stone-cold assassin.

After a reasonably promising start, the film becomes nothing more than a bunch of seemingly cool ideas thrown together, but unfortunately it doesn’t gel so well.

Allow me to just blurt it out: I hated this film. Nothing here was believable. It was over-dramatized and oh-so-sensational. There are so many unbelievable conveniences. I have so many issues with this film. How did Cataleya (Zoe Saldanha) know the prison so well? How was she so familiar with the victims’ houses? Without spoiling the ending, I just need to know how she managed to take two big dogs with on her final mission? How did she get them on his property considering it is heavily guarded? How did she know which car he would take? Seriously??? You honestly expect me to swallow all the garbage you’re feeding me, Mr Director and Mr Writer???

Oh, and by the way, this Cataleya caracter goes beyond vengeance to become nothing more than a cold-blooded, ruthless mass murdered (like John Wick). She deserves to be locked up with the key thrown in the deepest ocean…

Ok, a bit of credit where credit is due: the photography was really good, and Zoe Saldanha did a fine job. That’s it! End of the compliments.

Would I watch it again? Ugh, no!!