Catch me if you can

Sydney May 2015 (4 photos)

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife. However little known the feelings or views of such a man may be on his first entering a neighbourhood, this truth is so well fixed in the minds of the surrounding families, that he is considered as the rightful property of some one or other of their daughters.”

… Jane Austen, author, Pride and Prejudice.

And so it was, that I was walking around town just minding my own business, as is my usual want. From out of nowhere, I noticed a woman resplendent in a bridal dress talking to people. Strange, but maybe she was just happy to be getting married. Then another woman in a bridal dress appeared in front of me, forcing me to change direction. And then another and then several more. Each time I had to stop and change direction. They were just going up to people and talking to them.

I started to feel a heightened sense of awareness and a lump in my throat, a feeling I had not felt in some time. Why were all these brides starting to appear around me? Why did they all seem to be circling me and looking at me?

Suddenly, I realised the painful truth. I was in one of those Hugh Grant type movies where the lead man finds himself on the street being chased by women in bridal dresses. And I was that man!!!

Enveloped in an intense primal fear, I knew I had to escape. I turned but I was blocked in every direction.

I was surrounded. I was trapped. Then, I found what I thought to be an escape route.

And she appeared out of nowhere, as if in ambush. A large heart shaped chocolate in her hand. I could hear it calling me. She knew my weakness. Our eyes met as I was drawn to the scent of the chocolate. Then she gently asked me:

“Would you marry a complete stranger at first sight?”

I was speechless. I was without speech. I had no speech.

Trapped and unable to move by the lure of this large block of free chocolate, a tear started to form in my eye. I now knew I was unable to escape her. She had caught me.

She smiled softly and edged the chocolate closer to me, taunting me, beckoning me to answer.

“Would you marry a complete stranger at first sight?”

She whispered the question again and waved the chocolate at me. I had to reach out to her, for it. Our hands touched as the chocolate came into grasp. She moved closer, and then I …

“Married at First Sight (Australia)” is a new (un)reality TV show based on similar programs in the United States and Denmark. It features people who agree to legal marriage with a complete stranger, matched by supposedly expert matchmaking methods. They do not meet each other until the wedding day. The series then documents the relationships, including honeymoons and other relatable events of married life. After several weeks, each couple must decide whether to remain together or go their individual ways.

Suffice to say, I have no interest in watching it.

But the chocolate tasted nice.