BBQ Nerd’s Halloween Time BBQ AND Haunted Houses

My wife and I were having a nice October day- going to a haunted house attraction-and I convinced her to have a short BBQ excursion to the historic city of Lockhart. Having a Kreuz in town, and previously sampling Black’s and Chisholm Trail, I had my eyes set on Smitty’s Market, the original location of Kreuz. The first glorious image upon walking in-

The fire warmed us up, and we proceeded to the meat counter to order some brisket, pork ribs, jalapeno sausage, and turkey. For sides we added some beans and potato salad to the plate, and my wife got a coconut cream pie for dessert.

The turkey was well smoked, moist, and had plenty of bark on the edge. The simple rub complemented the breast well, and I have to recommend you grab a few slices for yourself if you find yourself here. Unfortunately the brisket was tough as all get out, with the fat clinging stubbornly to the meat. Perhaps the shoulder clod would have been a better choice. The pork ribs on the other hand were spectacular, with a subtly sweet glaze sticking to the meat. There was plenty of meat on the bone, and the fat content wasn’t too overwhelming, providing me with a well-smoked, well-rubbed rib. The sausage was another highlight, with chunks of jalapeno giving a nice bite to the spice mix inside the sausage, which had excellent snap. I tried it the traditional way, and was not disappointed-

While not QUITE as good as Southside Market’s Hot Sauce, this combo was a fine addition to the Texas sausage canon. The beans were subtle, simple pinto beans, but the potato salad stole the side show with chunks of pickles strewn throughout the potatoes. It was definitely homemade, and it beat the pie, which had just too much coconut essence for my wife’s taste. Overall, I’d recommend making the trip and grabbing some turkey and a few rib bones along with a sausage link, savoring the history inside the (cash only) joint. This is truly a trip back in time, and I couldn’t help but snap a few pics outside. Final Score- 7.2/10

Now on our way to Scream Hollow, we stopped the by The Gas Station, a landmark made famous by the Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Unfortunately, I was WAY too full to try some BBQ there, but the guy I talked to mentioned he was from Lockhart, so we chatted a bit. Inside the store is just a plethora of horror memorabilia, and while I can’t swear that the food is any good, I will definitely be returning for the atmosphere sooner than later and sample their menu. I’ll let you know how it is.

Scream Hollow was a real bargain as well. Online tix were 29 bucks and you get 4 separate and distinct haunted attractions. We went from left to right starting with The Slaughterhouse- Virgil’s Last Laff. This was a nice, long jaunt through the woods with structures and small houses being built in between things for some nice set pieces. There was a clear theme here of the Southern slaughterhouse and creepy Deliverance-type rednecks. Although there was a bit too much deadspace, none of the attractions had the bottleneck issues many haunted houses have where groups end up in large numbers negating the scares. Instead, each house offered a unique experience with the actors targeting just the two of us.

Zombie City: The Factory was next, and I really enjoyed the way the host went through the rules in creative way (“Bright lights, like from a camera or phone, will attract my creations!”). This was shorter, but with a clearer story. It became clear that all of these would follow a similar pattern of being outside with several indoor structures being built The next attraction was my favorite- Mansion of Terrors: Phantoms. This has some great room designs, the actors followed us throughout, targeting me, and provided us with some legit scares. Finally, we hit Wicked Darkness: The Maze. The shortest of the four, the pitch black parts were terrifying, but unfortunately the “maze” part never really panned out.

Overall, we had a blast. At the beginning of the month, my wife and I visited the House of Torment in Austin. The production value there was MUCH better, and the animatronics and room design in particular were just flat out amazing at the House of Torment. Of the two I would have to recommend House of Torment IF you could only do one and had the money. The lines at both locations weren’t bad, but House of Torment offers skip the line passes (with only three attractions, although the extra-priced mini-escape games are fun!) that will increase the price you pay dramatically. I will add that Scream Hollow had a better feel to it, was a better VALUE, and the actors were amazing. They were fun, scary, and really dedicated to showing you a good time. If you have the time, money, and inclination, give Scream Hollow a try! You won’t be disappointed.