BBQ Nerd Ranks King Kong (and Mighty Joe Young)

Continuing my discussion on giant monster films, we hit one of the most beloved creations of American cinema- King Kong. One of the first real blockbusters, without King Kong, there would be no Godzilla, and the great special effects films of Ray Harryhausen wouldn’t exist. Yet, as we look at the King Kong films throughout the years, this is a truly uneven franchise. The highs are fantastic, but the lows are simply some of the worse dreck ever produced in Hollywood. Let’s take a journey through these films to figure out which ones suck, and which ones shine!

10. King Kong Lives- Oh man, where to start? This direct sequel to the 1976 remake reveals King Kong’s survival of his fall from the World Trade Center. So what adventures do we get to follow our titular monkey character? Well, he’s in critical condition awaiting an artificial heart transplant, and he needs a blood transfusion. A female Kong is found, the transfusion is successful, the heart is place in King Kong, but it’s faulty. The Kongs escape, wreck havoc, mate, and King Kong dies watching his son born. The title is a lie, as is any promise of entertainment. Terribly boring, awfully written, and a dark mark on Linda Hamilton’s filmography. The human love story is cliche, but the scenes with the Kongs together are somewhat charming. The effects are at an all time low, although they still aren’t the worst SFX from the era. Points for trying to give us something different, but this film just doesn’t work on so many levels, and it’s not even fun to laugh at. Feel free to skip this one. SCORE- 4/10

9. Son of Kong- This is simply a quick cash-in, coming out the same year as King Kong. The idea that Carl Denim is being sued for the damage Kong caused in the previous film is amusing, and when viewed as a comedy adventure film, the film kind of works. But the Kong action is sparse, and the film barely features Skull Island at all. The effects are fine, and the character of Kong’s son is a nice continuation of the previous film’s treatment of his father. Kong’s progeny is much nicer, and more of a “good guy” than the king, and his bond with Denim is amusing. But the sinking of the island, the death of the titular character, and Denim’s real lack of a redemption arc hurt this film overall. It doesn’t help that the film barely clocks in over an hour, 90 percent of which takes place on either the boat, New York, or a port town. There is a more defined villain here, a truly despicable character who does get his comeuppance, but the love story here feels much more forced than the previous installment.  Overall this is another forgettable entry into the franchise, existing only to make a quick buck after the massive success of King Kong, although certainly an unoffensive, amusing little film. SCORE- 5.1/10

8. King Kong (1976)- The first remake of the beloved classic is another fairly dull affair, but this one offers a few more bright spots. Jeff Bridges tries his best to bring a legitimate performance to the film, and Jessica Lange’s Dwan certainly leaves an impression. Her connection with King Kong is actually a small improvement from the original, and the finale when she is begging Kong to pick her up so he won’t be shot is effective. The effects aren’t what they should have been, with the legendary Rick Baker on hand, but there are still some pretty sweet looking shots. The journey to Skull Island is boring though, and the reasoning for going (oil) is a strange one, although reflective of the issues of the decade it was made. It’s quite bizarre that these oil folks want to capture Kong to use him for their advertising since that’s actually the plot of King Kong vs. Godzilla. Skull Island is also treated horribly, and there are no other creatures living on the island other than Kong and a large (awful looking) snake. The tone is all over the place and moments like Dwan just…wanting a drink in the middle of Kong’s rampage are just plain strange. Everything that this film does well is improved on in subsequent films, and the direction here is just plain uninteresting. Overall the film is emotionally effective but not all that entertaining. We DID get some pretty sweet posters out of it though! SCORE- 5.5/10

7. King Kong vs Godzilla- Technically this is the first King Kong film in color, and the FIRST Japanese King Kong attempt. Much like my Godzilla Ranking, I looked at both the US and Japanese versions, but I’m basing my ranking on the superior Japanese version. It’s a bit cheesy, and the King Kong suit is HORRIBLE once again. But the story is a pretty solid satire of commercialism in Japan. The company at the center of the story wants King Kong for their ad campaign. The filmmakers manage to craft a pretty enjoyable final monster fight between King Kong and Godzilla. Giving King Kong lightening powers is certainly a strange choice, but the movie was originally pitched as brawl between King Kong and Frankenstein, so some of those plot elements lingered. Right away, the black face used in the movie is not acceptable (to be fair the treatment of natives in most of these films is pretty tasteless), and the humor is pretty hit or miss. This feels like a cartoon at times, and the first conflict between Godzilla and King Kong is just plain uninteresting.  The biggest flaw of the film is just that this should have been bigger and better. Both characters deserve a truly memorable film for their encounter, and while we got a pretty fun one, it’s still a far cry from what we should have gotten. Seen through the lens of a King Kong film, this is an especially bizarre addition. EDIT- After my rewatch, I feel like this film drags a bit to get to that third fight. Much of the human drama is still entertaining enough, but is far from the most engaging story. In the end, the first fight is barely a tease, and while the final fight IS very fun, it doesn’t quite justify the rest of the movie. SCORE- 5.6/10

6. King Kong Escapes- This is what happens when the Japanese make a solo King Kong film. Based loosely on the TV show (from Rankin/Bass), this film features an evil Doctor Who (not that one) who builds a mechanical version of Kong to mine material unsafe for workers. MechaniKong is a fun addition to the mythology, but Kong here barely resembles the 1933 version. He’s bigger, and, quite importantly, he’s played by a man in a (terrible) suit. The fight with Gorosaurus is my favorite sequence in the film, as Kong establishes a bond with Susan Watson, who actually demonstrates a sort of control over Kong. In fact, the closer relationship here would foreshadow the closer bond Kong would form with female protagonists later in the franchise. Doctor Who captures our human protagonists and King Kong, hypnotizes the ape, and forces him to continue the work MechaniKong was unable to complete. When King Kong escapes (hah), MechaniKong is sent after him and the final fight on Tokyo Tower unfolds as a clear homage to the 1933 original. This robs the film somewhat of its climax, and the final fight is nowhere near as satisfying as it should be. A better final battle could have propelled this film higher, but the effects and silly story hold it back somewhat. SCORE- 5.7/10

5. Mighty Joe Young (1949)- It might seem strange to place this film on a King Kong list, but it shares so many of the creative minds behind the 1933 classic that I feel I can confidently place it here. Plus it adds a few more films to a pretty sparse list. This film opens with a charming young girl who buys a baby gorilla using her dad’s things. The animal turns out to be a giant variation of your standard gorilla, and the girl, Jill Young, gives him the name Joe. The film skip some years so we get to see Mighty Joe Young in his prime. Once again special care is taken to give Joe Young a real sense of character, and Joe is 100% presented as a sympathetic character. The stop-motion effects are great, and the fiery finale is dramatic. Jill suffers the worst in terms of characterization, as she makes some truly stupid decisions including taking up the offer to have Joe star in an attraction at a nightclub. The film has some issues with logical storytelling in general, with cowboy Ben Johnson given no other motivation to go to Africa than… he’s always wanted to. Still, this is a classic film, albeit one that isn’t quite as exciting as the subsequent films on this list. SCORE- 7/10

4. Mighty Joe Young (1998)- Placing this film higher than the original might seem blasphemous, but there are two primary reasons here. The first is that the decision of Jill to move Joe to a reserve makes much more sense than making Joe a straight up entertainment attraction. Jill, played by Charlize Theron, is miles ahead of the 1949 iteration in terms of complexity. The second reason is simply the effects (compare these to the American Godzilla film out the same year). Rick Baker was in full control here, and it’s quite simply the best giant gorilla effect I’ve seen in a film. The combination of suit and animatronic mask create a truly realistic illusion, and even the outdated CGI was based on motion capture from real animals. Effects don’t make a perfect film, or even a great one, and the sympathetic treatment of Joe and Jill is effective here. Having Bill Paxton doesn’t hurt either, and while the film veers into Disney-level saccharine levels, it works for the most part. Like its predecessor, this isn’t the most exciting film, but it still an entertaining one.  SCORE- 7/10

3. Kong: Skull Island- The most recent iteration of the classic gorilla may also be the most action packed. The second installment of the MonsterVerse (following 2014’s Godzilla), Skull Island takes place in the aftermath of the end of the Vietnam War. The organization Monarch wants to chart an expedition to Skull Island, and they grab a tracker (Tom Hiddleston), an anti-war photographer (Brie Larson), and small troop of soldiers led by a troubled lt. colonel (Samuel L. Jackson) to assist. So much of this film works- from the anti-war message, the stark image of Kong standing tall against helicopters with the sun in the background (a clear homage to Apocalypse Now), to the expansion of the MonsterVerse. The highlight of the film is easily John C. Reilly as a downed WWII pilot marooned since the war. He provides humor, exposition, and even some great dramatic moment. The effects are pretty good for the most part (the slow motion could have been toned down), and the final fight between the giant Skullcrawler and Kong is a fantastic bout. The monsters of Skull Island are another high point of the film, with Mother Longlegs, the giant spider, leaving the most harrowing impression. One downside is that, besides Reilly, the main human protagonists are a bit bland. The film’s action peaks too early as well, with the initial helicopter encounter with Kong occurring near the beginning of the film. Despite a game effort, the film never quite recaptures the magic felt in that scene, but hey there’s a giant octopus fight, so maybe the filmmakers saw King Kong vs. Godzilla. Kong’s tragic depiction as the last of his species fighting desperately for his island is a unique one, and the film is the first to feature pacifist natives so it gets points for that. Too many characters hold this back a bit, and it lacks the gravitas of the original, but this is still a must see Kong film. SCORE- 8/10

2. King Kong (2005)- This is a movie made by someone who loves the 1933 film. Peter Jackson, fresh off his landmark Lord of the Rings trilogy, takes the movie that inspired him to get into film and applies his signature “epic” approach. I do mean epic by the way, as the film clocks in well over 3 hours, even before the extended edition. The structure of the film mirrors traditional storytelling with three very distinct acts. The first is in 1930s New York transitioning quickly to the ship ride to Skull Island. The ship is where we spend the majority of this act, and it builds the island and King Kong up quite well, creating anticipation rarely seen in a film. The time period itself is something of a character, and a welcome one at that. We also get to know our protagonists, Jack, Ann, and Carl, all drastically different enough to be their versions of these characters while maintaining their familiar roles. We get fan service throughout with direct lines and scenes inserted cleverly throughout the ride. The second act is all Skull Island and what an fun experience it is. The monsters are great, and the fight between Kong and the V-Rexes is the best bout in any of these films. Jackson develops a fantastic relationship between Kong and Ann, taking time to connect the two throughout the second act. The third act is the real tragedy of the story, and the audience knows what’s coming. Kong escapes, grabs Ann, and climbs the Empire State Building to meet his destiny. In between though, Jackson adds a lovely ice skating scene between King Kong and Ann that is a sort of “calm before the storm.” The motion capture performance of Andy Serkis is just fantastic, though Serkis would one-up this performance in the subsequent Planet of the Apes films he would star in later. The effects don’t always hold up, it’s a bit long, and it’s a bit indulgent at times, but this a masterclass in filmmaking and love letter to one of the best films of all time. SCORE- 9.2/10

1. King Kong (1933)- I know, I’m not very brave, and there’s not much more to say about this absolute classic. But this is, cultural progressiveness aside, a perfect film. Groundbreaking effects, historic scope, and the desire to produce something truly special propel King Kong into legendary territory. All the tropes that adventure films would replicate are fresh here, and the love story works pretty well even today. The buildup to King Kong’s reveal is entertaining, and tense in its final moments, and the desperate attempts to save Ann from Kong are riveting. The dangers Jack and company face are haunting and shocking for its time. Skull Island is just simply unlike anything seen at the time of this film, and audiences responded in droves in an era where hope and imagination were necessary to survive the trials and tribulations of the day. The finale on top of the Empire State Building is a pop culture icon. Carl Denim’s final line that “beauty killed the beast” is the icing on this wonderful cake. Put this movie on, grab some popcorn, and prepare to be transported to film paradise. SCORE 10/10