Alas, Spike

We adopted a dog, Spike, in 2017. He’d been dumped at the Clay County Animal Shelter then passed on to the Effingham Humane Society. At the time, my wife and daughter were volunteering out there. Spike came in and was just a quiet, depressed dog clearly not adapting well to being in a second shelter, even though he was given walks and playtime regularly by the EHS.

My daughter determined we needed a third rescue dog to go along with Jaeger and Kaiju. Her primary logic was that ‘Spike’ was a volleyball term, so it was karmic destiny for us to adopt him. I’ve made decisions on poorer logic than that. So–we adopted him (after walking him at EHS, meeting with him, making sure of temperament, etc)…also assuming he was a quiet dog because that’s how he’d been his entire time at CCAS and EHS.

Spike had a bad left hind leg–clearly injured at some point, making it difficult for him to hop into vehicles or climb onto furniture (with the way Spike always paid attention to pickup trucks his first couple years with us, I reckon the inability to climb into one was part of why he was ditched). Not a big issue–and it wasn’t completely true over time, either. Spike was quite able to go on walks or sprint if there was food or something interesting involved.

There was one thing though that was a problem from the start and it was probably part of why he was abandoned originally, too. Spike was VERY protective of my wife and he didn’t like men approaching her ESPECIALLY in a car or even to lay on a bed for sleep–he would be this way if he was on the bed, he was this way if he was laying on the floor…if Julie was sitting on the bed, Spike was crotchety. We tried numerous things to work on the psychological conditioning–eventually finding that a little treat at bedtime was enough of a distraction to prevent his ‘lizard brain’ from taking over.

Unfortunately, this solution was inadequate. Spike got old (13 for a big hound) and had a ton of anxiety, unwilling to be away from Julie for more than five minutes (a problem when she’s at work for eight hours…). He slowed physically, no longer able to go on full walks around town–so we shortened them for his sake (and sometimes took the other dogs on full walks of their own rather than as a ‘pack’)…and then the treat wasn’t enough and after taking the treat from Julie, one night, Spike attacked me–not in a playful way. I wound up with skin broken on a couple fingers, a thumb, my forearm, AND my left breast. Minor stuff–but he’d never done this before.

And so–you are forced to debate end-of-life issues. Is it the right thing to put a dog to sleep for a single incident? Do you do it to avoid a second incident? Is there a ‘quality of life’ issue going on he cannot communicate?–has he begun to suffer canine dementia…is that still Spike in there?

Sigh–Spike changed after he realized he was with us for the long run. He certainly wasn’t a quiet dog. His inner hound-dog returned…he woofed at cars passing, at cats, or in support of our other two dogs if they went on a barking barrage. His internal clock always made sure we’d know when it was meal time or time to get out of bed–more barking…and if his nose got the scent of something on a walk, there was no deterring him from following it–sometimes making walks longer than originally planned.

It would’ve been nice to have him from being a puppy. There was a sweetness inside Spike you could see (other than the nighttime/lizard brain issue)–what caused that, who ingrained that so deeply it could not be conditioned out of him? Would he have been bouncier/more physically active without whatever hurt that leg long ago?

Where does our responsibility as pet owners lay with all this? If we consider a pet family and we put him to sleep to end his suffering AND this is fine AND the right thing to do, why do we resist this with the people in our lives who may be suffering–why do we FORCE them to extend miserable days into miserable months of pain or time in the hospital? Or do we have a responsibility to see this through until nature makes the final decision?

I wrote some of this 2.5 years ago when we wondered what to do–should we put him to sleep–after he attacked me. We decided to adjust things–not let him on the bed, etc. We got him a sedative to take before bed…and then we were ok. Of course, time grinds on and Spike stopped climbing on any furniture, preferring dog beds on the floor. His naps grew longer and he stopped racing to windows when Kaiju and Jaeger started barking–he just sat up and gave support from wherever he was at. Over the last year, Spike’s hearing got worse…but was a 14-15yo hound-mix already past his 12-year life expectancy, but he was still Spike, still an old soul. There was never a loss of an inner clock telling him it was food time–he was always good for a sprint to the kitchen at those times or when Julie got home.

We started debating the end-of-life questions a while ago–at what point does a human decide the fate of a dog? Providence took that out of our hands last night when Spike had a massive stroke. He suffered for only an hour before our vet could help out. Dr. Flynn gave him an anti-seizure med–and it was clear Spike was still there, just scared. It meant when the last drug was administered, he was not in pain and it meant Julie could be there stroking his head–his beloved was with him when he departed for wherever souls go when the body fails.

But it was a good last day, better than you could script. He had a doggie spa day, running outside with the dog day-care’s daughter for hours, then a bath and pedicure, and the daughter then gave Spike an Easter bow-tie for his collar. He came home and had chicken and berries for dinner–and then I got back from Iowa and Spike was excited to see me along with the other two. And then an hour later, he was gone.

It does not help the sorrow, especially for Julie since Spike was *absolutely* ‘her dog’–and I guarantee he would have sacrificed himself in any/all legit circumstances to protect her. In the moment, the sadness outweighs the years of good memories, but that will change as time passes and scabs over the sorrow of loss.

I wish there was a way to actually communicate with Spike–did we redeem humans for you? Did you have the best years possible with us? Do you know how much you were/ARE loved?

Damn this sucks.

Jaeger, Spike, and Kaiju, circa 2019