A fear-free Halloween tale

Boo! No? Too early? Too scary, then. It’s okay, I understand. These are scary times, so I have to ask myself, “Self, do we really need to be more scared at Halloween? Aren’t my pants already sufficiently soiled by day-to-day living?” But self never answers back. Bastard.

That thought and a love of public-domain sound effects (thank you, freesound.org) prompted this audio piece that aired on CBC Breakaway earlier this week. Spoiler: there be banjos.