21 Years of Marriage

I met Annie after a spiritually dry time in my life.

I had left The Master’s College – a co-ed liberal arts school – and was headed to The Master’s Seminary – an all-male school. I hoped that when I went to college 2 things would happen: I would get trained for pastoral ministry and find a wife. The first happened; the second hadn’t.

At that time, I wasn’t sure marriage was for me. So, I grew in my anger and frustration with God. I didn’t appreciate God putting the desire for marriage in my heart and then not allowing me to realize it.

About this time, I came across Jeremiah Burrough’s The Rare Jewel of Christian Contentment and it put a dagger into my greedy, selfish, demanding heart.

The Lord also used my college pastor’s series on righteous relationships to help me focus on being the right person and not worrying about the process of getting together.

Both of those “events” (the book and the preaching series) re-directed my heart to the sufficiency of Christ to meet me in my loneliness.

And then, early in the year of 2000, Annie came over to my apartment with a mutual friend to borrow my Ford Bronco. She was wearing an OU sweatshirt, and while it was not “love at first sight,” that initial impression was not forgotten.

Over the next few months, we began a friendship that resulted in us dating and me moving to Washington for the summer to get to know her family, work with her brother, and ask for her hand in marriage.

We met and got married in less than 12 months.

That was 21 years ago…today.

I have never regretted a single day of our married life. I have often asked, “Why did she say, ‘Yes’?” and “What did she possibly see in me?”  

For us, marriage is better now than it has ever been. We love each other more today than we did on the day of our wedding. Our friendship is stronger; our intimacy is sweeter; our commitment is firmer.

Why?

God’s grace. God has been the anchor of our union from the beginning. I can promise you that the minute that the Lord is not the most important Person in your marriage, trouble will follow. Marriages with conflict and sin have forgotten the Lord whom they are ultimately wed to. The moment you aren’t loving your spouse as God intends is the moment you have forgotten how God loves you. If you are married, keep Him at the center of your union.

It’s been 21 years of marriage. I pray we have decades more.