2022: Route 66 and Beyond, Day Fourteen

Good morning from our beloved airbnb.*

*(Is it weird to have so much nostalgia associated with a place you’ve stayed at a handful of times? But I mean, we’ve stayed there for fun when everything was great and we’ve held mini Christmas there with family but we stayed there in hard times as well. Maybe it’s weird but the affection for this place is real.)

Also, this is the point when we officially hit the Wall of Exhaustion, and unfortunately we never got over it.

We wanted to hit the road early, so we can properly stop in Springfield to poke around and still get to St. Louis in time to see the Arch. This meant leaving ~8am. First week of our travels, this was easy peasy. Even Days 8-12 or so, we could have pulled it off. But right now, two weeks in and after two long drive days where we also visited with friends/family: we. were. WIPED.

Everyone slept in. No one could get motivated to leave. And we had another long-drive day, our 3rd in a row (~300 miles).

(That fact, right there, was the fatal flaw in my trip planning. Never plan three long-drive days in a row, especially not after two weeks on the road. Rookie move.)

Eventually, we were able to pry ourselves off the couch and got our butts back on the road.

We kinda resent you now, road. Sorry. Especially when we witnessed a semi-truck blow a tire in front of us (if you have never experienced such a thing, well lemme tell you – first you hear a loud boom, like an explosion, and then you look to see the semi in front of you losing control of the steering while rubber tire is blown everywhere and sparks shower out from the remaining metal rim of the tire, and you thank your lucky stars that the driver is a professional and is able to keep from causing a major pile-up on the highway. Truck drivers are an impressive bunch, I tell ya.)

We got a super late morning start. Which means we had to do some major trimming to our activities. In the end, we decided to cut out the entire stop in Springfield and a few quick stops in other smaller towns, it was the best way to make it to St. Louis in decent time. This kinda sucked, but I mean: we were tired, sorry. And we kinda were looking forward to just getting to St. Louis to relax, too.

(Which should have been my first clue that we didn’t have enough rest time worked in, considering we got on the road after a morning of rest and based our day on getting to our next destination so we could again, rest. Lol.)

There was one destination we did decide to keep on the schedule, though. And it wasn’t one of your classic Route 66 towns like Joplin, Springfield, Rolla, or Cuba. Oh no, friends, we passed all that by in favor of… “Uranus Missouri Towne Center”, home of the Uranus Fudge Factory.

God help us all, I can’t decide if this was a good stop or a bad stop. Linus thought the entire thing was wild, Scott and I could not believe the insane amount of potty humor, and Peter was mostly embarrassed to be there.

You know when like, a toddler says something funny and you laugh at it but then you kinda regret it because they repeat the same joke 873 more times? Or how there’s always that “one” relative that pretty much still does the same thing as an adult? Welp, that is this entire stop. All sorts of little shops and curiosities and about 873 dirty jokes.

(Guess what though, Johnson was sitting on a bench right next to this sign and sad news: he most certainly does not love to be stroked and petted, he pretty much tried to bite when Peter attempted to let him smell his hand and pet him. Poor cat is probably tired of all these damn tourists bothering him.)

The infamous fudge store.

It’s huge. Like, room after room of souvenirs with dirty sayings. Alien probing! Butt pickers! Fudge packing! You name it. And so much candy everywhere omg. But I have to say: the t-shirts were flying off the shelves and the place was packed with tourists. At least they know how to make a buck.

We got a small box, I let each kid pick out a flavor of fudge. I cannot tell you the last time I made or bought fudge, it has to at least be the early 2000s (not even kidding). But I kinda felt like we had to here. And you know what? I forgot how good fudge is. Might have to work it back into my holiday candy schedule.

I tip my hat to the RC on ice, too.

Finally we made it out of that madhouse and checked out a few more shops/sights before getting back on the road.

OMG it never ends make it stop.

Found some random back-yard chickens!

Okay had seen enough, time to get back on the road. The dirty jokes are almost overwhelming here, like literally they are everywhere. Bonkers.

We kept heading east, and about an hour more of driving is when things really get lush and normal looking again.

It was time for lunch! So we stopped at the first place we passed with a decent rating, which ended up being: Bandana’s Bar-B-Q.

Bandana’s is a regional chain that defines itself as “a St. Louis Home Town Restaurant”. If you ask me which one we stopped at, I would really have trouble responding to that. Maybe Rolla? All of Missouri kinda melds into one at a certain point.

This is your basic BBQ joint, nothing to write home about but then again: we have pretty high standards for BBQ. I’ll just say that while nothing stood out, it was also acceptable (and that is truly a compliment because WOOF. As someone currently living in Wisconsin, I have endured some pretty disappointing BBQ).

Here is when Linus started to hit his limit. Headphones on, no eye contact, just getting through it. I think the noise of most restaurants was starting to grate on him. He’s a reserved, private guy and anything busy and loud really knocks him for a loop; not to mention: he had been away from home for quite awhile at this point, and I think he was ready to be back at home in his own bed. By this point, he was checking out of reality.

My BBQ plate – got the fried okra as a side, but sadly wasn’t even close to that at the Big Texan.

See, now he’s hiding. Poor Moose was done.

Now full of food, we were off to our final destination. Nothing felt as exciting as that first glimpse of the Arch in the distance. Quite possibly my favorite thing is that around most of the city, you can see that Arch. Even out in the Hill, you can see it peeping out between buildings.

WE MADE IT. Just in time, a few hours to spare before closing for the day. We found parking about half a mile away, easy peasy, then made the walk in the humidity, omg the humidityyyy. We were sweatin’. I was looking forward to getting inside and into some A/C.

There she is!

Obligatory shots with the Arch. I took like 20, ha.

We made our way inside the building, and this is where the disappointments began to pile up. For one, all the rides up the Arch were sold out for the day. And Two: as a Federal Building, we were not allowed into the museum without all belongings going through an X-ray machine. And I had a film camera on me.

We got in the line to see if they would hand-check the film camera, like they do in all airports and other assorted government buildings. When we got to the front of security, the guard first dismissed me and said “no, X-ray machines are fine on film cameras”. Er, wrong dude. I then asked if they hand-checked film instead, like at airports. This is where I watched this dude’s face completely change. He was cold, dismissive, and loudly told us that if I wasn’t willing to put it through their security X-ray, then we were just going to have to just leave. So… we left? We were all a little embarrassed because he sent us off as if we had done something inappropriate, and everyone was staring. And I mean, if I only had a small amount of shots left I would have just let it go, but I had a fresh roll in there and film is not cheap (also, for the record: not safe even in low-level X-ray machines). Back into the entry, we stopped at the visitor counter to see if they could hold the camera for us, but they told us (and kindly, I should note) that as a Federal Building, they can’t hold any objects for anyone and also unfortunately cannot house rental lockers, either.

So away we went back outside, without getting to see the museum, which kinda sucked. But: I completely get it. Security needs to remain tight at a Federal Building. This is just my fair warning to anyone stopping here – don’t bring a film camera, yo!

Even though we couldn’t get a ride up or get to see the museum, I’m still glad we stopped to check out the Arch up close, it is a pretty amazing structure.

As a bonus: it backs right up to the Mississippi, which was fun to see from this area of the country.

After checking out all the angles, we got in the car and made our way to our airbnb for the night. I was pretty excited for this spot, too.

Welcome to The Hill. The Hill is the old, historic Italian neighborhood, still known for being very Italian, very Catholic, and full of lots and lots of delicious food. Scott and I had not been here in a long, looong time. Eighteen years, in fact; well before we got married and had kids and all that madness. My memory is a bit fuzzy, but I remember ice-cold martinis and fantastic pastas. It was definitely time to explore The Hill again.

Our humble abode for the night, we booked the bottom unit.

After getting in the airbnb and settling in a bit, we started searching for dinner plans. The only hiccup for me is that we landed here on a Friday, and we definitely wanted to eat at a nice restaurant (the Italian food scene here is not to be missed). But eating out in The Hill on a Friday night, that means you’re going to have to show up with a reservation in hand, and it was already ~5p when we got here, eep.

I got to work on laundry (we were in dire need at this point) while Scott called around to see if we could get reservations anywhere. Before we got here, I made a list of the recommended restaurants that were authentic, kid-friendly, and with fantastic food. Karma was smiling down upon us that day – when he called Mama’s, one of the best spots in the neighborhood, they told us they had a cancellation so there was an opening for us that evening. PRAISE BE. We all fell into the couches, stared blankly at walls or the TV, and got a little rest before heading out the door for dinner.

Walking around this neighborhood feels like traveling back in time ~50 years. Loads of cute little brick homes, most adorned with a statue of Mary in the yard. Authentic Italian markets, bakeries, and restaurants on almost every street. And everything is full of Italian pride here; even the fire hydrants are painted the colors of the Italian flag.

Moose and I made up a little jingle because how can you not? “Leo Oldani: Italian Salami”. It’s begging for it really.

And, we made it! Mama’s on the Hill, previously known as Mama Campisi’s, is credited with being the home of the famous St. Louis toasted ravioli. It was highly recommended by locals, and family friendly which is what we were also looking for. I was super excited to tuck into some carbs.

Bread! Pasta! Wine! Cream sauces! We were in heaven. Also we did not think to order their Toasted Ravs until we got back to the airbnb and it was too late. We are dumb.

My chicken piccata was drowning in the thickest butter sauce I have ever seen.

Scott got a linguine seafood diablo and WHOA.

Here’s where dinner went awry. See that empty glass below, in front of Linus? It was his “children’s meal” drink, and was filled to the very top with chocolate milk. Linus was so excited by it that he sucked the entire thing down in about two minutes flat. His tummy was not thrilled with him. At that point, I told Scott to finish my wine, told him to stay there with Pete and enjoy the rest of the meal and have ours packed up, then I took my poor Linus back so he could moan and clutch his stomach in agony in the privacy of our airbnb.

Started to rain on us on the walk back, but thankfully that stopped before Scott and Pete headed back. It made for some nice pictures, at least.

We got back, he spent some quality time with the bathroom (poor kid). Later Scott and Peter got back, and Scott got Linus to take a shower and let him trim his nails. Long overdue.

(I forgot to mention earlier, but our airbnb hosts’ last name was Cacciatore. Like, chicken cacciatore. I die.)

Anyway! We were done, like d.o.n.e. I did laundry but otherwise sat on the couch like a bum. The guys also lounged around and enjoyed a quiet evening.

Linus and I had a little kitchen island dinner 2.0. My pasta was even better the second time 🙂

Okay that’s it, truly. ALMOST THERE. TWO MORE DAYS. WE CAN DO IT.

Day Fourteen Stats:

The Mileage: 302 miles

The Towns!. Uranus, MO; St. Louis, MO

Dwellings: airbnb – we purposefully booked a spot in The Hill area, and this one was cute as a button. One bedroom, but a very comfy pull-out couch and still tons of room to spread out. Also: another amazing shower situation.

Attractions: The Arch; The Hill district of STL

Roadside Oddities: The living nightmare of butt jokes that is Uranus, MO

Meeper Count:  No meeps today.

Stuff To Do That We Missed: Listen, Joplin is a solid stop but we have been there so much (and will be there again next month) that we didn’t stop. Please if you can though, check it out! Also Springfield, sweet Springfield. So much to do there, lots of Wild Bill Hickok history and some great Route 66 museums. Also home of Chinese Cashew Chicken! And they have a fantastic brewery too.

Foooooooood: Breakfast: I have literally zero memory of this, likely just munched on leftovers and lots of coffee in the airbnb; Lunch: Bandana’s Restaurant; Dinner: Mama’s on the Hill (chef’s kiss to this one, baby)